Posting about Google hits for strange phrases (as I did with “why should it goes well”) got me thinking about how googling has changed out lives. I’m not going to delve into some sociological rant about it or anything, so don’t worry (what do you think this is, Livejournal?) But think about it: when you meet someone, you go home and Google them, right? I know I’m not the only person/stalker who does that. The point though, is that if you Google someone, and they don’t have any hits, don’t you sorta feel sorry for them? Like, they’re not important enough to be “known” by the Internet?

The first girl I ever had a crush on, Jamie Umber, finally got some Google hits. She’s a Vet, it would seem. That is, of course, assuming she’s the only Jamie Umber in the United States. I guess I don’t know for sure. But regardless, she now has one more — albeit unexpected — Google hit.

Speaking of which:

Goat eats prize orchids. (Or, perhaps, “Goat eats prized orchids”, I honestly don’t remember which)

What the fuck?

Well, that phrase has no Google hits. Or, should I say, had no Google hits. It does now.

Remember in Donnie Darko when the Drew Barrymore chick says something about “cellar door” being the most beautiful of all possible permutations of words? Well, I think “Goat eats prized orchids” is perhaps the most, um, weird.

Especially since it’s a square from Life, the board game.

But seriously…how can “Goat eats prized orchids” not have any Google hits? Hasn’t anyone else noticed how weird it is?

Oh, and one more thing: I am not on any sort of drugs right now.

I swear.