You ever have one of those splinters in your brain? Like, a song that you remember hearing a long time ago, but you never figured out who it was by? And it gets so bad, you start to doubt if you even heard the song in the first place. The details fade and you wonder if it was just a dream.

Well, I’ve had something similar. Except it’s about the movie First Kid. Yes, that First Kid. Yes, the one with Sinbad.

So why is my life slowly being destroyed by a Sinbad vehicle? See, me and my friends watched this movie, way back when it came out, in 1996 (Cue Sam making a joke about how old I am). ‘Round about that time, we started calling my friend Dan, “The D-Sack”, or just “D-Sack”. I, of course, became “J-Sack” and so on. Trust me, this relates.

At any rate, the movie is great because it has not only the incomparable Sinbad (who’s work stands up nicely to anything Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle has ever done) but also the incredible Robert Guillaume. Throw in the oldest kid from Home Improvement and Poindexter from Revenge of the Nerds and it’s like a murderers row out there.

The point is, for the longest time, me and my friends had this vague recollection that the phrase “D-Sack” came from this movie. But how the hell would we verify this? It’s obviously not in any movie quotes listing, and Google doesn’t really handle hyphenated queries very well (I’ve tried). I’ve even posted on some bulletin boards, begging people who own the movie to watch it and tell me it’s in there, to no avail. It isn’t available at my local library, and I could never find a Torrent link to download it. And it’s not like I’m going to pay money and rent the thing (cue Jew joke here).

Luckily, it’s been on HBO recently, but you know how that is…you always catch the movie you want half-way through. And I’m pretty sure this line was from the beginning of the movie.

But, today, the gods smiled upon me. I went downstairs, at about 2:05. Guess what had started at 2:00? Oh lord yes. First Kid. I watched for about 5 minutes and then it happened….

The head Secret Service guy points to Robert Guillaume and yells at Sinbad: “If it wasn’t for the D-sack, you wouldn’t even be here!”

I feel so spent. I need a cigarette.