A couple of things running through my head whilst football on a lazy Sunday:

• If I hear one more football color guy say “keep contain” or “lose contain” — as in “look right here; the linebacker Smith can’t keep contain” — I’m going to stab someone in the neck with a pencil.
• The Cribs with the Ying Yang twins is either the greatest thing in the history of television, or quite possibly the end of the civil rights movement.
• Sorry about no picks this week. I don’t know what happened, exactly. I DO have something that’ll make up for it (I hope) coming later on this week. I know I’ve said that before, but hey, it’s my fucking blog. If you don’t like it, um, go read someone else’s.
• Oh sorry baby…you know how I get when I’m drinkin’. I didn’t really mean it. I love you baby. C’mon, don’t be like that! You and me, like it’s always been, baby. Baby? C’mon. You know you’re all I got! I love you so much, baby! We’ll get through it…it’ll change. I promise! Fine. Fine! Be like that, bitch! Yeah, I called you a bitch! Come here and I’ll smack you like a bitch! Yeah? Yeah?! Well, I’ll tell your sister that, cuz, yeah, your suspicions were right, I am fucking her! Yeah, so how you like that! Yeah!? Oh you think so?! Oh really? Oh REAAAAAALLY?
• It’s good to know I’ll make a good alcoholic wife-beater in the future. I was worried I wouldn’t cut it.
• I like how a completely boring and useless post about my Gap adventures ended up getting a whopping five comments. Maybe I really should have told that “Arch Card” story.
• So, here’s how I rank ‘em: 1). Ho-Hos, 2). Cupcakes (the chocolate kind…I don’t fuck with those weirdo yellow ones) 3). Mini-donuts (chocolate, not powdered), 4). Ding-Dongs 5). Twinkies. Snoballs don’t even make the list.
• I’m completely at a loss these days as far as music is concerned. More on this later, but I can’t figure out if it’s because it all sucks, or if it’s because I’m too old to worry about it. Perhaps some of both.
• I really miss Jessica. Like, badly. (Not badly enough to go look at that “MTV Overdrive” BS, but pretty badly). Why can’t she get her own show instead of LC? I mean, if LC gets “The Hills”, shouldn’t Jessica get “The Mountains”? (HEY-oh!) But really people, what’s the deal with airline food?

Stay tuned. More to come.