As we’ve been doing lately, here are some search terms people used to [somehow] end up at my little corner of the Internet:

• “jessica smith laguna huge breasts“. Well, as the “Unofficial Site of the breasts of Jessica Smith“, would you expect any less? But at this point, I think it’s fair to say that JeremyAbramson.com™ is actually the Official site of Jessica Smith’s breasts.
• “abramson varsity football“. Now, I never actually played varsity football. Heck, I never even played Junior Varsity football. I did, almost, play freshmen football, but I couldn’t stand how much of a “team” sport football is. (In reality, I just didn’t like the fact that 10 other people had to do their jobs right to accomplish anything. Running laps because 10 other 15 year-olds don’t do what they’re supposed to is not my idea of fun).
• “laguna beach drinking game”. Well, this makes sense, seeing as how I invented it.
• “depression“. Now this one cracks me up. Exactly how do you get to my freakin’ site, just by searching for “depression”? And someone managed to do it twice!
• “boobs“. Hey, guys are easy. They don’t even have to be Jessica’s. Any ol’ pair will do.
• “goat“. Um, suuuuuuuure.
• “+”juan gigante” +”french tickler”“. I’d like to thank Jeffy for this one.
• ““arch card” stupid”“. Hey, they’re not stupid as long as they’re free!
• ““constantine popa” miami“. Apparently Mr. Popa’s mom knows how to use the Internet.
• “Trishelle Canatella WITH JEREMY“. Unfortunately, this, as best as I can tell, is just a fantasy. But if someone wants to get me the out-take DVD of “Kill Reality”, I’d love to make it a reality.
• “remissness“. Just because I say shit like “full of remissness” and “zorch the zorch” doesn’t mean anyone else should.
• “PRIMATIVE WEAPONS“. Someone really needs to invent a better search engine.
• “jessica smith, laguna beach, pictures, tits“. Well, like I said…people seem to be into them!

Not to disappoint, here’s another gratuitious shot of her breasts. You may
remember this scene from the beginning of the second episode of season two. “There’s my boobs! There’s my boobs!”. Yes, Jessica. Those are your boobs.

And we thank you.