So, a lot of things have been crossing my mind lately. For example: Why didn’t they make a sequel to Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever?  And doesn’t that sound more like an obscure record that some idiot DJ that hasn’t been laid in forever would own?

Okay, maybe not.

Also, I’ve never actually heard that one Nelly Furtado song, but I swear I hear “Am I throwing you off?  Nope!” at least 15 times every time I’m on Myspace.  Now, I’m assuming there’s actually a whole song that goes along with that, but I never get that far.

Speaking of Myspace, I was playing Poker online the other day and one of the douchebags I was playing with had an interesting little theory:  That Myspace was created by the government in order to spy on people.  Now, seeing as my friend Beau knows the people who started Friendster (thereby sorta, uh, “inventing” the idea of social networking…sites like Livejournal and Xanga notwithstanding) I find that a little hard to believe, but it’s an interesting idea.

If you think about it, there are just so many people on Myspace, it’s not out of the question to say that it might be a more accurate database than the US Census.  And it’s certainly more complete, given that it includes things like sexual orientation, schools attended and whether or not the person is a “chill, no drama sort of guy”.  Does that shit show up every 10 years?  I think not.

(Aside:  Should we allow illegal immigrants Myspace pages?  I mean, I’ve heard arguments both pro and con for allowing them obvious things like drivers licenses and old Chevy pickups — HEY-oh! — but I’ve never heard a compelling argument for why we should allow illegal aliens Myspace pages.  But maybe that’s why they come to this country… I heard they only have tribe.net or some shit, over there in Haiti.)

At any rate, I’m not really sure I can give our government enough credit for using something like Myspace to keep an eye on us all.  Besides, who’s job would it be to monitor the site?  Do they just log on and do keyword searchs for “jihad” or something?  Maybe search by school to see who’s listed “Mahmoud’s School of Terroristry” as their Jr. High.  I couldn’t imagine having to wade through literally millions of supposedly disaffected teenagers taking pictures of themselves in the mirror in order to find someone who thinks they should kill the president.  (Speaking of, uh, you know…”that”, is that even a big deal anymore?  Remember when that was a big deal?  Like, a felony or some shit?  I mean, like any good Democrat, I own a copy of Paris’ Sleeping With The Enemy — check the lyrics for track 5.  That song actually had him investigated by the FBI and supposedly thrown in jail for a bit — but does anyone care?  I mean, how many hits would you get if you searched for “I wish the president was dead” on Google?  Well, at least one, I guess.  Moving on before “the man” comes and takes me away.)

¡VIVA LA RAZA!.

Errr, sorry about that.  Got a little carried away.  But yeah…Big Brother, if your out there, let me know.  We can be friends…as long as you promise not to post a fucking bulletin every time you update your pics.  Cuz that’s just retarded.