What a week, eh?
I can’t remember ever being so disappointed at so many “good” games. All the games, in one way or another, were close. And I wouldn’t say that any of them were “good”. Neither the Ravens nor the Colts could get in the endzone. The Patriots won, but played poorly for 97% of the game. The Saints played relatively uninspired football, barely beating a weak Eagles team at home.
I guess you could say the Bears-Seahawks game was good, but it’s the freakin’ Bears. They’re a horrible team that’s one win away from the Super Bowl. Screw those guys.
Overall, both Brian and I went 2-2 for the week. Brian’s Chargers couldn’t come through, but he made an inspired pick flip-flopping on the Colts. Obviously everyone and their mother — except Bill Simmons — knew the Bears wouldn’t cover 8.5 points. And the Saints won, but probably shouldn’t have been given a full 5. You live and learn.
So, in keeping with the blah-ness of last week’s games, I give you this week’s picks. Note Brian’s “I don’t give a shit anymore because my Chargers are out of the playoffs” tone. Fun times all around.
On to the picks!
| Patriots at Colts (-3) | |
|---|---|
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Jeremy: Would you rather have sex with the worlds “best” porn star, or the hottest chick in the world? What I mean by that is this: Let’s say the world’s best porn star has a lot of sex. Like, a lot. She’s the sexpert. She knows everything there is to know about sex, will do anything you want, and can perform in just about every way imaginable. She’s probably decent looking — or else her career wouldn’t have taken off — but that’s about it. The hottest chick in the world is just that: Some girl you find insanely attractive. Which one would you rather have sex with? Because that’s pretty much the Manning-Brady thing in a nutshell. Except without the threat of hepatitis. Take the Pats. Pick: Patriots |
Brian: Manning vs. Brady… blah-blah. Who cares? The Colts should be playing in San Diego, and I should be there. I hate Eric Parker. Take the Pats. Pick: Patriots |
| Saints at Bears (-2.5) | |
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Jeremy: I never understood why people liked Chicago. And I don’t mean the team, I mean the city. Someone (maybe Richard Jeni, who you might remember from a stirring series of Tic-tac — or perhaps Certs, I’m not sure which — commercials) said that it’s like the people of Chicago looked at New York and said (and I’m paraphrasing here) “yeah, I like the traffic, the crime, the dirtiness of the city…but it’s just not cold enough!” Like, what are the main attractions of Chicago? It’s like New York without the charm. Oh, and in the middle of the fucking country. It has, as they say, that going for it. Which is nice. New Orleans has girls showing their boobs for plastic beads. I’m not sure what Richard Jeni had to say about that, but I’m guessing it’s better than deep-dish pizza. Take the Saints. Pick: Saints |
Brian: The Bears CANNOT win this game. I hated the Ravens when they won it all with Dilfer and this would be worse. Rex Grossman is pathetic. I know, I know, everyone is betting on the Saints and this whole America’s Team thing. And that should make it obvious to stray the other way. But I can’t do it. The Saints offense outscores the Bears defense. That’s enough to win… or at least cover. Take the Saints. Pick: Saints |
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