Remember how the NBA’s Washington Bullets changed their name to the Washington Wizards, back in the day? This was, of course, before they got those horrible gold uniforms that look like second-rate pajamas for the Purdue Boilermakers, but I digress. The point is, the Bullets changed their name as part of a program to try and rehabilitate Washington DC’s image. After all, is it really appropriate for the seat of our government — and the murder capitol of the world — to have its basketball team called the “Bullets”?

I think not.

Which is so weird that its hockey team is called the Washington Capitals.

CAPitals.

Yeah, I’ve been to D.C. What a rough-and-tumble place. Capitals? More like “CAP-IN-YO’-ASS”-itals.

::rimshot::

(Editor’s note: This post is courtesy of “Diane” in Washington. She e-mailed me, via the oft ignored contact page — most people prefer comments, as do I — and requested that I make mention of the Washington Capitals. She buttered me up with compliments — “I LOVE YOUR BLOG” I believe were her exact words — and being that I’m a sucker for anyone who massags my ego, who was I to turn her down? So, if this was all some cruel hoax, then I guess you got what you were looking for; a random reference to the Caps and a really bad joke. Otherwise, enjoy your 15 picoseconds of fame, Diane, and keep listening reading)