Everyone knows I’m a huge sports fan. My number one team is, of course, my beloved Sacramento Kings. And while they seem destined for another 15-year run of mediocrity — or worse — there are a select few of us true fans that hold out hope.

Of course, by “hope” I mean “Isiah Thomas will trade us Channing Frye and Jared Jeffries for Ron Artest. By “hope”, I mean “Brad Miller marries David Stern’s daughter, and somehow manages to implement a weird rule where he can be waived and not count against the cap.” And, by “hope”, I mean this:

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As someone who had to endure the Olden Polynice era, the drafting of Pervis Ellison, and Doug Christie’s wife, I don’t think that’s too much to ask.